Sunshine, mood, movement & friends

After a long stretch of rain and short days and long nights the sunshine always lifts my spirits. Oddly it is still a bit of a challenge to make myself go outside. When I do though, it’s very nice, and it’s often hard to make myself stop working and go back inside! The physical activity is tiring and often gives me sore muscles, but also improves my mood. Getting older has impacted my strength and endurance and it’s annoying that I cannot work longer. We are burning a huge pile of wood debris that a prior owner left, it might have been a small barn or shed. It had become overgrown with blackberry and had Alders growing in it. S has done the lions share of the work, chipping away at it for over a year. It will take quite a few days to finish the job as the county requires us to keep the burn pile no more than 4′ x 4′. I’m saving pieces small enough for the wood fireplace. Fire brings a primal comfort.

The other thing that lifts my mood is doing tai chi. You hear about the health benefits, but it’s hard to describe or believe that doing something that looks so easy is so effective. I wouldn’t have had the discipline to stay with it, I don’t think, without S keeping us going. He may be absolutely maddening sometimes but, the plusses definitely outweigh the minuses. Our beloved teacher has to leave us and go back to Canada after a failed attempt to immigrate,  with her husband and two children. That’s going to be another hard transition.

Tonight we had a potluck dinner with friends. It was a poigniant evening, since two of our group are no longer able to join us for our monthly game night in the winter months.  A had a stroke and G has alzheimers and has finally gone into full time care. G’s husband is alone now. The group dynamics have changed and it was a little awkward, but very good to be reunited after a 2 or 3 month hiaitus while R took G on their final trip together. We miss G a lot.

 

Author: fresh aire

I am incredibly lucky, blessed, and fortunate. I honestly do not know why I am so lucky. I have the best two children a parent could wish for, a wonderful step-son, a bunch of great friends, and siblings and a wonderful partner. I live in a gorgeous region, in an energy-efficient home, both of which have been dreams for me. Many of my life dreams have come true. How is that possible??? As far as I can tell I've screwed up A LOT in my life. Many, many years were spent in excruciating pain, depression, anxiety, shame, guilt, .. you name it. I spent years doing really crazy things trying to run away from myself and the pain and only making it worse. I refused to listen to wise advice - really, I was incapable of listening to or following almost any advice. I did not see opportunities when they were presented to me on silver platters. How I got "here" from "there" is a mystery I am sure I'll never solve. Maybe blogging a little will help me find some enlightenment. For now, I'm just incredibly grateful.

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